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  #1  
Old 27-07-19, 22:05
t4goodtogo t4goodtogo is offline
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T4 Post Icon The Most Stupid Thief Award goes to..

It's my mistake for leaving the California overnight on a well-lit, busy street in the centre of Milan. With a steering lock. And a pedal clamp.


That's when our cunning thief makes his move.


Step 1
Textbook stuff from the Car Thief's manual. Stick flat-headed screwdriver in sliding door lock and rotate.


Step 2
Once inside the vehicle, our thief (let's call him "Luigi" for the sake of brevity) rips out the ashtray and scatters contents. He is dimly aware that carwash tokens are not legal tender and cannot be used for buying crack.

Step 3.
Luigi appears slightly confused by the concept of door catches. Westfalia clips need to be pulled outwards with 2 fingers on the plastic lever.
Undeterred by this protocol, he jams his screwdriver in the door jam and prises outwards. Once inside the cupboard, he inspects some plastic plates.

Step 4.
Luigi is now thoroughly frustrated by the fiendishly-complicated door-catch mechanism and loses his temper.
To gain access to the unlocked rear locker, he launches a full-on attack (again with aforementioned screwdriver).
The door puts up some resistance but Luigi prevails. He inspects a water hose, a cable extension and some cleaning products.

Step 5.
Luigi rifles though bedding and a toothbrush case.
Step 6.
Luigi leaves.


My only consolation is that I can make good the doors with time - but tomorrow, our intrepid thief will still be as thick as pig's sh##.
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  #2  
Old 27-07-19, 22:24
stuartt5t30's Avatar
stuartt5t30 stuartt5t30 is offline
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Default Re: The Most Stupid Thief Award goes to..

I guess the consolation prize is that a smart thief (or gang of) would just tow it away and strip it to bitsfor resale
At least they cant take your sense of humour
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  #3  
Old 27-07-19, 23:19
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Indian Indian is online now
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Default Re: The Most Stupid Thief Award goes to..

You should have left him a bottle of vodka laced with methanol in the car.

A kiss is just shopping upstairs for merchandise downstairs .
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  #4  
Old 28-07-19, 06:32
Pundit Pundit is offline
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Location: Australia
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Default Re: The Most Stupid Thief Award goes to..

I would give him some free crack no problem.
A tyre lever over the head.
That kind of ‘crack!.
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  #5  
Old 28-07-19, 15:50
mindriot mindriot is offline
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Default

Years ago a pap got utterly sick of 3 drunken jakey tramps hassling everyone in his street.

Gave them some dangerously strong bootleg vodka and filmed their decline and public disorder, antics and eventual arrest.

Got rid of them for a few days at least.

Thieves are scum sorry to see your damage, but as a policeman once said to me, be glad most thieves, crooks etc are stupid, itd be much worse otherwise.
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  #6  
Old 28-07-19, 15:53
mindriot mindriot is offline
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Phone typing, a pal not pap.
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  #7  
Old 28-07-19, 17:53
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stuartt5t30 stuartt5t30 is offline
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Default Re: The Most Stupid Thief Award goes to..

Often think when in the middle of the woods on my own if pikeys new my bike was worth 3k im sure they would hide behind tree's in groups! But thankfully i think mindriot has a point
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  #8  
Old 05-08-19, 18:00
t4goodtogo t4goodtogo is offline
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Default Re: The Most Stupid Thief Award goes to..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Indian View Post
You should have left him a bottle of vodka laced with methanol in the car.

Like it!
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